


Don't apologize

by Bakamattsun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Kageyama Tobio, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakamattsun/pseuds/Bakamattsun
Summary: Kageyama Tobio isn't sure what he's done to make his stepfather hate him this much.Luckily, he's not alone.(The adults in Haikyuu being protective, responsible people.)
Comments: 84
Kudos: 715





	1. Chapter 1

Kageyama Miwa left the house when she turned 19, dragging a bulky hot-pink suitcase behind her.

"Help me zip this, Tobio."

The eleven year old nodded, pinching the dented zipper between his fingers. His sister was humming a familiar tune.

"I'm going,then. Try to get along with Bigfoot, 'kay?"

Bigfoot is the name they gave the burly man who had showed up at their house last week. He was massive, shoes as big as the model boats they had at the museum. Miwa was the one who came up with the name. She whispered it to her brother over mugs of warm milk, and the two of them giggled like maniacs.  
Their mother shot a disapproving look their way, like she knew what they were saying. She was head over heels for him, even if she did look uncomfortable every time he laid a hand over her ass. 

"Do you have to go?" 

Miwa pauses, fingers hovering over an untied shoelace.

"I'm gonna work really hard, then when I'm a famous hairdresser I'll buy you your own volleyball court. How about that?"

"I don't need a court."

Miwa rubs his hair, messing it up more than she usually does. Her eyes are watery. 

"Take care of mom, okay?"

She leaves, and he stares at the door for a while before making his way to the kitchen. He rips the plastic wrap off a plate of pork curry and eats it cold. Miwa knows just how he likes it.   
He's pretty sure his mother doesn't even know that it's his favorite food.

The first kick comes two weeks after his sister leaves.   
His shin throbs fiercely, but he doesn't cry. Bigfoot is sneering at him, a satisfied smirk cutting through his facial hair. It's a shock. He doesn't remember doing anything particularly bad. His mother is still fast asleep, and Bigfoot is standing in front of the fridge like a guard. Kageyama forgets about his yogurt and limps away hurriedly.  
It's nice and warm outside, and Kageyama plops down on the porch with a grimace. The bruise hasn't quite showed up yet. He prods at the reddened patch and it stings. He wants nothing more than to cry, and have Miwa rub salve on it before kissing him on the top of his head. He saw his mother do the same thing to Miwa once, he thinks. The two of them bonded like any other mother and daughter. Kageyama himself used to get half hearted pats on the head when he brought back a new finger painting or a good job stamp on his homework.

He never got attached to his mother. Every time they had a nice moment together she would dissapear for the next week. He didn't blame her for all the business trips. She was a busy woman, after all. They had plenty of money from her job, but the house was cold and empty. No time to spend it on holidays, or to go furniture shopping for a nicer couch. Miwa was a different story. She was always bouncy and excited whenever their mother was at home. She used to move to their mother's room and do her homework with a flashlight while their mother slept. Kageyama didn't understand. Perhaps there was a time when she was home more often. Perhaps she used to be the perfect mother. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't a part of that.

By the time he decides to go back in the house, the throbbing has lessened and he can walk normally. Bigfoot has made a cup of coffee for his mother, and they're laughing over something. His mother looks over at him and flashes a crinkly eyed smile. It's awkward, like she's a kid meeting a new friend and not a mother looking at her son.  
He smiles back. 

Iwaizumi Hajime is not the first person to ask him about his bruises, but he's the most persistent.  
The marks are rarely anywhere visible, anyway. His stepfather isn't stupid. He aims the blows at his torso, brings down sticks on his back. He only got the occasional bruise on his legs or his cheek once a month. Nothing unusual for an active boy his age, even if he wasn't the type to get in fights.

"You ran into a door?" 

He nods, flinching when Iwaizumi reaches to touch the bruise blooming among his jaw.

"Did somebody do this?"

"What? No. I ran into a wall."

He frowns.  
"Not a door?"

Kageyama gulps. He's good at lying, but now his heart was pounding and Iwaizumi was still looking at him. 

"I-I'm being bullied." 

The older boy widens his eyes, and Kageyama pats himself on the back. 

"Is it your classmates? Is it-"

He hestitates, but Kageyama doesn't miss the way his eyes dart to the other first years. 

"No. It's-kids at my cram school. I told my teacher yesterday. She's working on it with my mom."

It scares him, how easily the lies roll off his tongue. He doesn't even go to cram school.

"Okay, that's good. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

He pats Kageyama on the head. He grits his teeth and tries not to move. Touch was scary. But he trusted his senpai, and the touch was gentle. He felt like he was melting in joy before the hand pulled away, and he was left aching for more. For a hug.   
Instead, he nods curtly and leaves.  
The next morning he sees Iwaizumi whispering to Oikawa. They approach him before practice, and a folded slip of paper is pushed into his hands. 

"You can talk to either of us, if something like this happens again. We'll be there."

Oikawa is pouting, looking somewhat embarrassed.  
Kageyama thanks them.   
He glances at the paper before tucking it away in his bag. It's two phone numbers, scribbled in different handwritings with a name over each one.  
Iwaizumi, in rough letters. And Oikawa, in careful characters next to a doodled peace sign. 

Karasuno is the best thing that's happened to him in a while.   
After a month he dives into his bed after school and cries. Nobody glares at him in practice. He didn't sit alone during breaks. Any snide comments made by Tsukishima were followed by good natured smacks from Tanaka, or a sheepish apology from Yamaguchi.   
It's so, so strange. He almost feels wanted.   
Bigfoot comes back home drunk that night. He laughs at Kageyama's red eyes.  
The next day, he goes to school with an ugly purple shape blooming on his cheekbone. 

"Did you get in a fight, Bakageyama?"

Hinata is waving his arms madly and gawking at him. 

"I fell."

"On your face?

"Yeah. On my face."

Hinata squawks in glee  
.   
"That's a pretty rough bruise, though. Did you ice it?"

Suga has a gentle smile on his face when he approaches. He raises his hand and Kageyama squeezes his eyes shut, hunching his shoulders and taking a step back.  
The hand doesn't come. 

"Kageyama?"

He opens his eyes tentatively,to see the whole club room staring at him. Something twists in his chest, and it registers in his mind that he's messed up. Bad. 

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, I'm not as intimidating as Asahi! At least before you get to know him."

Suga cracks his signature grin at Asahi's protests, and the tension loosens.   
Hinata looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and pouted lips. Concern, or maybe just confusement.  
Kageyama shakes the uneasy feeling, shoving his bag into his shelf with a tad too much aggression. He doesn't have time to worry about stupid things. His team will forget about it sooner or later. Perhaps they've already forgotten, given the ripples of laughter circling the room.  
Hinata doesn't race him to the gym that day. He trails behind Kageyama quietly, like a petulant child after a public scolding. 

"Why are you being weird?"

Hinata looks taken aback, missing an easy receive. Ennoshita catches the stray ball and flings it back, smiling at an apologetic Hinata. 

"Because I'm worried about you. Did you really fall?"

To a stranger, Hinata might seem like nothing like boundless energy and an empty brain. But he's ridiculously perceptive, Kageyama thinks. It might be more of a wild instinct than anything, but it sends goosebumps tickling along his forearm.

"Of course I did, dumbass. I wouldn't lie about   
something that embarrassing." 

"That makes sense, I guess..."

Kageyama gets the feeling that he isn't quite satisfied with his answer, but he leaves it. If he's lucky Hinata will forget about it after a few good spikes. 

"Kageyama-kun, come see me after class."

He's startled awake by a rolled up textbook to the head. His classmates are sniggering. 

"Yes, ma'am."

Ms. Ono is clearly a good person and a favorite among the kids, but she didn't tolerate rule-breakers.  
Kageyama wonders if sleeping in class is enough to merit a suspension. Surely not on its own, but he was a repeat offender. That and the fact that he-  
The bell rings, and somebody let's out a celebratory yell. The students move immediately, desks groaning as girls push them together to have lunch with their friends. Kageyama puts away his pencil case. Ms. Ono is waiting for him by the door.

"Where's your lunch?"

"In my bag."

"Why don't you get it? We can have lunch together."

Great. Lunch alone with his teacher. Kageyama mumbles a yes ma'am, cheeks burning at the calls of pity from his classmates.

"That's hardly a balanced lunch, ya'know."

"Neither is yours, sensei."

He digs into his onigiri, ignoring the offended gasp Ms. Ono lets out as she unwraps a ham sandwich.   
They eat in silence for a little while, and Kageyama can feel the sweat beading on his forehead. He thinks about how he'd rather be yelled at it. The boy is in the middle of fantasizing about a giant earthquake splitting the staff room in two when his teacher finally speaks. 

"Kageyama kun, do you get enough sleep at home?"

He pauses to think. Last night he was doing laundry and washing dishes well past midnight. 

"Yeah, I guess. Sorry for sleeping in class, Ms. Ono."

She purses her lips, carefully setting her sandwich down on the neatly folded wrapper. 

"Apology accepted. I was just wondering why you seem to think English class is the perfect nap-time. Are you having trouble keeping up with schoolwork?"

He shakes his head,cheeks puffed out with rice. His teacher waits for him to swallow. 

"I'm okay, thank you. Maybe I should be getting some more rest."

She nods.

"I understand. How about that nasty bruise you have? Would you like to see the nurse?"

He stiffens. The whole sleeping-in-class problem was probably a disguise. His stepfather had been in a foul mood lately, downing beer like a thirsty athlete gulping water after a marathon. Drunk Bigfoot was careless Bigfoot, and this was the third time that month he's had a bruise show up somewhere visible.

"I've already iced it, ma'am. It'll be fine."

"Did you fall?"

He can tell she's trying to keep the conversation casual, taking a bite of her sandwich before she continues. 

"Yes. I was being careless,I think I was tired." 

The words are too panicked and they come out too fast. Kageyama knows it himself. Being scrutinized by Hinata all morning had put him on defense mode, and the usually effortless lies were getting jumbled up in his throat.

"Is something happening at home?"

He shakes his head, hurriedly finsihing the rest of his lunch in one bite. He avoids her gaze as he chews.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I won't let you down, whatever it is."

The rice has turned to mush but he keeps chewing, nodding slowly.

The bell rings,and Ms. Ono waves at him with a stiff smile as he excuses himself. 

Kageyama makes a mental note to barricade his door that night.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tobio!"

Miwa shifts in her chair and flashes a peace sign at the camera. Her hair is a few inches shorter, and her bangs are pushed out of the way with a huge butterfly clip.

"Hi, Neesan."

Kageyama feels a smile creeping onto his face. He can almost feel her energy. It wraps around him like a hug, despite the screen between them.

"Gosh, your face has changed again! What's with that jawline?" 

Kageyama blushes, lifting a hand to run his thumb along his jaw. The softness is gone.

Chatting with Miwa never feels awkward, even if they only video call each other once a month. Everything about her is natural. The way she smiles, the hand gestures. He misses all of it.

It's also a lot more difficult to lie than it is when texting.

Miwa loves hearing about home, So Kageyama makes things up. He tells her about the fancy steak dinner Bigfoot brought them to. They laugh about mom almost burning down the kitchen trying to make him a birthday cake.  
Not that any of it was possible. Bigfoot wasn't willing to spend a cent on him, and the only things that came out of that kitchen were hastily prepared meals learnt from the cooking books stuffed into the magazine rack.

They talk for nearly two hours. Kageyama is half asleep when Miwa tells him to go to bed, and he doesn't protest.  
The house is quiet that night. Nobody home but him.  
Lonely, but peaceful. 

"Tired already, Bakageyama?"

Hinata is grinning, despite the sweat dripping from his forehead.

"You look terrible, Boke. Wipe your face."

Hinata makes a disgruntled noise and smooshes his face into a blue towel.  
They've been practicing for three hours now. Practice is always the toughest on Saturdays,when Ukai is stressed from a week of work and full of ideas. Today he seems obsessed with serves. Serve practice is far from his favorite. It's especially taxing on the jump servers - Yamaguchi is groaning as Yachi fans him with a towel.

It's been peaceful at home for a while now. Bigfoot seems to have calmed down on the drinking now that his mother is home more often. She'd mentioned something about reaching her goal for the next month. Kageyama isn't sure how jobs work, honestly. 

"Toss to me, Kageyama!" 

He glances at the timer. They have three minutes left, but Hinata seems to have rested enough.

"Sure."

Tsukishima scoffs between sips of water.

"Jeez, we have break time for a reason. The school has better things to do than dealing with two students dead from exhaustion."

"We won't die!"

Hinata scrunches his face into a look of annoyment, turning to bound after Kageyama with a ball held tightly between his palms.

The last hour of practice goes by surprisingly fast, and before he knows it they're cleaning up the gym. Even Hinata looks worn out, stumbling as he pushes a mop around the court. Kageyama himself is swaying a little. He loves it. Feeling his muscles ache, his head empty. Like he's used up every bit of energy in his body, leaving just his soul and a gnawing hunger.

"No self practice today! I'm sure you've got barely enough energy to make it home at this point."

Daichi raises an eyebrow at him and he nods in understanding.  
The captain treats them to meat buns in celebration of a "Fruitful practice"  
A paper bag is passed around and Kageyama can feel his stomach rumble as he picks out a pork bun. They thank Daichi and he chuckles sheepishly, muttering something about Ukai giving him a huge discount.   
Kageyama is chewing on his first bite when Suga approaches him.

"Hey, Kageyama. Wanna walk home together?"

He looks up in confusion, swallowing hurriedly to answer the question. 

"Don't you live that way, Sugawara san?"

"I'm going to my cousin's apartment. He just moved!"

"Oh, I see. I'm fine with anything, I guess."

Suga gives him a thumbs up, smiling widely. They finish their buns in record speed and wave goodbye to the group.   
Being with Suga is comfortable in a new way. Kageyama is used to Hinata babbling on about anything that comes to mind. But Suga is different. He asks lots of questions. Kageyama had forgotten how nice it felt to just talk about himself. He tells Suga about his math homework and how it doesn't make sense. He talks about how Hinata invited him to the zoo, and he isn't sure if he should buy something for Natsu.

"Just get her to pick something out at the gift shop when you're there!"

Suga is what he imagines it would be like to have a mother that cared about him. He's never awkward, always smiling and genuinely interested in what Kageyama has to say. And he gives good advice. His chest aches in longing,for someone like Suga to be there all the time.

"Do you visit your cousin a lot, Suga san?" 

"Yup! I've never been to their new house, though." 

He runs his fingers through his hair, and Kageyama watches his silver hair sparkle in the sunlight. 

"I love my cousin's family. His dad is the funniest person I've ever met, really. He's nothing like my father."

Kageyama feels something squeeze painfully in his chest. It's okay, he tells himself. Suga's father doesn't hit him. He's never seen Suga be anything but happy, playful and gentle.   
But what if he's just good at hiding it?   
The younger setter falls a step behind, heart pounding fiercely. Something is wrong. His stomach twists and his ears ring. Suga has stopped to look at him, cocking his head to the side. 

"Are you okay?"

His voice is steady and soft, and it brings Kageyama back enough for him to open his mouth and choke out something. 

"No. I think I'm going to die."

He tells himself that he's gone and made himself look foolish, overreacting like that, but a part of him believes that he has minutes left before something comes and eats him up. Suga hurries over to him and guides Kageyama to a worn metal bench by a vending machine. He tells him to take deep breaths and that he's having a panic attack, but for a second Kageyama forgets how to listen. He just cries, rubbing his hands up and down his face until his cheeks are red hot. 

"Hey, it's okay. It'll be over soon." 

Suga takes his hand and places it on his chest. Kageyama can feel the slow, steady rhythm of his chest moving in and out. He tries to match it. Inhale, exhale. The tears linger on his cheeks but nothing new comes to join them. His heart slows. 

"Are you better?" 

He nods, a little unsure. Suga just smiles at him, slowly lowering his hand. Kageyama squeezes it, eyes moving to meet his senpai's. Suga doesn't let go.   
They sit for a while, before Kageyama loosens his grip to wipe the sweat from his palms. Suga buys him a carton of milk, wordlessly poking in the straw for him. Kageyama is grateful. His hands are still trembling. 

"You wanna talk about it?" 

"I don't know." 

"I think you do." 

He does. He wants to make sure that Suga is okay at home. He wants Suga to know that he isn't. 

"Yes."

It's barely a whisper, but the older boy hears it. He scoots closer, and Kageyama can hear his breaths, barely audible but still there. 

"You said something about your dad. That he's the opposite of your uncle." 

"Yeah, my old man's a big nerd. His sense of humour is a little strange,I would say." 

"But you like him?" 

"I love him. He loves me." 

He states intently at a crushed coffee can to the right of his shoes,not wanting to make eye contact. It's a good minute before he speaks again, but Suga doesn't say anything. He doesn't even move. 

"My stepfather. He doesn't." 

His voice cracks and Kageyama clear his throat, running his finger along the back of his hand to calm himself. 

"Love me, I mean. I think he hates me." 

"Do you mean..." 

"He hits me. Usually on places people wouldn't notice." 

Kageyama feels strange as he says it. Like he's a tank filled to the brim with water, and someone has stuck a bucket in him to take some out.   
Suga looks like he doesn't know what to say. Kageyama doesn't blame him, honestly. 

"Would you - would you be safe? If you went home now?"

It's not the response he was expecting, even if he's never told anyone about the abuse. He raises his head to see Suga looking shaken, a wrinkle between his neat eyebrows.

"I think so."

"Do you want a hug?

He freezes. Suga already has his arms open, the shocked expression melting into a tentative smile. Kageyama moves robotically and Suga meets him halfway, pulling the younger boy into a firm hug. A warm hand rubs comforting circles into his back, and Kageyama lets out a sob.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry. It's okay."

He repeats it like a mantra. Kageyama can feel his hot tears soaking into Suga's sleeve, but he doesn't pull away or say anything. They sit for what feels like forever, and Kageyama can't stop the tears. He can't remember the last time he's cried like this. He used to cry everyday when Bigfoot first started picking on him, but he'd learnt to suck it up. Crying meant weakness, and weakness meant harsher beatings.  
Ugly sounds crawl out of him one after another, and Suga switches from rubbing his back to stroking his hair. It reminds him of Miwa.  
They sit like that until a little old lady comes out of her house. Suga bows his head as best as he can with someone as tall as Kageyama leaning on him, but the old lady waves it off with a concerned look. She brings them tissues and a pear each.  
Kageyama pulls away to thank her, and the two boys spring up to bow. She chuckles, pushing the gifts into their hands.

"I'm sure things will get better. You'll take care of him, won't you?"

Suga stiffens. 

"I will, ma'am."

Kageyama returns home feeling more drained than ever. His head throbs and his eyes burn, so he heads straight to his bed and pulls the covers up to his nose.  
Suga had been nothing but understanding. He didn't judge, and he didn't force Kageyama to tell him anything. The only thing he had been persistent about was telling an adult.  
Kageyama isn't sure why he's so against the idea. He wonders if they'll arrest Bigfoot and leave him to live with his mother. That wouldn't be bad, but his mother would be devastated. Perhaps they'd throw her in as well. That would mean Miwa would be left heartbroken.  
Oh. Miwa.  
Miwa was a direct relative, and an adult with a stable job and her own apartment. Maybe they'd shove him into a train to Tokyo. Then it'd be goodbye Karasuno.  
He thinks about how the team would react if he told them he needed to leave. He can imagine Hinata crying. Surely Ukai would be angry at him for ruining the team's balance. Daichi would be disappointed.

When he wakes, it's pitch black outside and he somehow feels worse.  
Kageyama reaches out to swat at his lamp, wincing at the sudden burst of orange light.  
His head pounds, and he wonders if it's possible to get yourself sick from crying.  
He sits for a while to listen to the sounds of cars passing. An alarm rings somewhere. A boy yells something and he raises an eyebrow at how young he sounded.  
What time was it?  
He glances at the clock,finding it wasn't as late as he'd initially thought. Half past seven.   
He's dizzy with hunger.   
He avoids all the creaky spots and makes his way downstairs slowly, still somewhat dizzy. The fridge is a little sad looking. A bunch of beers and some orange juice. A tray of eggs and a tupperware filled with rice.   
Kageyama reaches for the rice and pops it in the microwave,twirling to the counter and picking up a banana while he waits. He rummaged through the pantry and takes out a can of tuna.  
The microwave dings, making him jump. Kageyama takes the rice out quickly, dropping it on the counter before he burns his fingers. It occurs to him that he hasn't gone through his hand care routine yet.  
He squints to inspect his fingers. They're perfect, as always. Not a bit of dry skin or a chipped nail. A little thick with muscle, but nice and long.  
He's too focused on his nails to notice a pair of large feet enter the kitchen.   
Bigfoot is standing over him before he knows it. Kageyama wrinkles his nose at the stench of alcohol. 

"You stealing food, boy? I bought those bananas."

"Uh, sorry."

He moves to grab the peel off the counter, but Bigfoot grabs his wrist tightly, letting out a short laugh.  
Something is wrong. Kageyama has never seen the man this wasted. He's unsteady, shifting his weight from foot to foot like he'd rather be sitting.   
A hand wraps around his throat, and Kageyama panics.   
This has never happened before. Nothing like this has ever happened. His stepfather was a piece of shit, but surely he wasn't insane. Surely he knew that killing a child would land him in a cell with no windows.  
He wants to yell at him to stop, scream as loud as he can to make the man sober up. The words he tries to force out jumble up into a weak squawk. He's choking.   
Kageyama tries to scratch at the hand desperately, cursing his meticulously filed nails. The pressure in his head is terrible,and he wonders how long more until his head explodes and the cabinets are redecorated a dark red. From somewhere deep inside, he finds the strength to lift his leg and kick. It hits something, he's not sure what, but all that matters is that Bigfoot pulls away, howling in pain.   
Kageyama runs.   
His throat aches and he can't breath, but he wills himself to move. Every cell in his body is begging him to stop, but he keeps going.   
There's only one place he can think of,tucked away along a familiar road and hopefully open.   
Sakanoshita shop.


	3. Sugawara Koushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Suga's point of view!

Sugawara Koushi is a lot of things, but he's not a coward. Which is why he's seated on an old chair in Sakanoshita shop, waiting for Ukai to return with tea.  
The shop is eerily quiet at night. He glances at the register, the cigarette Ukai discarded in his ashtray still trailing smoke.

"So? What did you want to tell me?"

The coach pulls up a chair for himself and slides a cup of tea across the table.

"Uh, it's about Kageyama."

Ukai raises an eyebrow.

"Does this have anything to do with volleyball?"

"No sir. But you're the first person－ uh, adult that I wanted to tell."

The first person he had wanted to tell was Daichi,but Kageyama had tearily begged him not to tell anyone on the team.  
He had also begged him not to tell any adults, but Suga has his limits.  
Ukai looks considerably more interested. He stops fiddling with his hairband and pulls his chair closer to the table, body facing Suga. 

"And?"

"He's being abused. By his stepfather."

Ukai blinks at him for a second. He obviously hadn't been expecting something like this. Why would he? Why would anyone?  
Sure, Kageyama acted strange at times, but he was fine. He laughed, and he smiled,and there were never any red flags.  
Suga pauses.  
He's a terrible senpai.  
How hadn't he seen it earlier? The flinching. The bruises that appeared every once in a while. He never changed in front of them. Kageyama was always changed and ready to practice by the time he arrived, and he'd dissappear after practice only to reappear in the club room to grab his bag and leave. He's never seen the boy shirtless. 

"Sugawara? Are you okay? Sugawara?"

He snaps out of it with a jerk. 

"What? Yeah, I'm sorry. I just－" 

"It's okay. Give me a second, than you can tell me more." 

He gets up to flip the sign on the door. Suga waits with his fingers tangled together on his lap.  
It somehow feels even quieter when he starts talking, but Ukai is listening. 

"He had a panic attack today, while we were walking home. It was just the two of us. I took him to a bench, and he told me everything. He's getting hit at home, coach." 

He watches the way Ukai's hand forms a tight fist on the table.

"Okay. Did he tell you anything else?"

"No. He looked like he regretted telling me, almost. I didn't press him,just gave him a hug." 

He shrugs,unsure of what else to say. 

"You did good, kid. Thank you for telling me." 

Ukai takes a deep breath,stuffing his hands into the deep pockets of his apron. Suga decides to take the time to observe a mysterious stain on the table. 

"Wow. I mean, what now, right? Sorry,I'm just a little shocked." 

He clears his throat.  
Suga gets it. His mind had gone blank when Kageyama had told him. This wasn't something he'd every be prepared for. This was different from Hinata needing help with his receives. It was different from Daichi showing up at his door with a particularly difficult homework assignment and a takeout container of spicy ramen. This was serious. Kageyama needed help that Suga wasn't sure how to give.   
The blankness was quickly replaced with a million thoughts, buzzing around his head like an angry swarm of bees. What did people say in situations like this? What was he supposed to do?   
For a second, Suga almost wished it wasn't him. If only he'd gone straight home, he'd be eating the fancy vanilla ice creams his mother had bought the other day, blissfully unaware. If only Kageyama had told someone like Tsukishima. The blonde would probably know all the right people to call. He'd definitely be a little more reliable,and a lot more cool-headed.   
Gosh, he really was a terrible Senpai. 

Ukai opens his mouth like he wants to say something, then shuts it again. He looks restless. 

"God. I'm sorry,I know it was hard coming to me. I just need to make a couple calls, I guess." 

He looks a little unsure as he stands to pick up the dented flip phone discarded on the register. 

It's then that Suga hears the familiar ring of the door opening. Ukai grumbles, placing his hands on his hips as he turns to the door. 

"I'm sorry, we're not -" 

He stops, eyes widening, and Suga cranes his neck to peek at their sudden guest.

It's Kageyama Tobio. Wheezing and sputtering and looking like a mess. 

Ukai moves fast, rushing the boy in and making him sit on the chair he had been occupying until a moment ago. Suga just stares at him. He's still in his practice clothes, hair sticking up in the back like he's been asleepmHe wills himself to do something, to look away, but he can't. He isn't sure if Kageyama has even noticed him, even if they're sitting so close he can see the way his chest rises and drops.

"Hey, look at me. Are you hurt?" 

"I'm okay."

His chest drops. Something is wrong. Kageyama sounds like his throat has been put through a food processor. Looking closely, he can see finger shaped marks starting to appear, snaking around his neck. There's a dark expression clouding Ukai's face. Suga doesn't miss the lump in his pocket, trembling with anger. 

"Coach－" 

"Call the police." 

He stands, eyes scanning the room for a phone, but Kageyama lets out a gutted whine and reaches to grab his wrist. He sounds so pitiful, and his grip is firm despite the feeble sounds of dissaproval. 

"No. Police." 

His eyes are serious, even if the way he's widened them make him look a lot younger. Suga looks to Ukai for help. The coach just shakes his head, and he sits back down, the chair creaking as he plops down on the seat. 

"Kageyama. What happened?"

Suga's heart twinge at the way his hands tremble, wide eyes darting around like he's in a haunted house. 

"Hey, you're safe here. Can you tell me, please?" 

" I, " he starts,pausing to wince. 

" Does your throat hurt a lot? "

Kageyama nods sheepishly, a hand resting on his collarbone like he's afraid to touch his neck. 

" Okay. Give me a second, yeah? "

Suga watches, feeling very useless as Ukai dissappears behind a shelf. He can hear the rattling of plastic packaging, and the man reappears quickly with a notebook and a marker. 

Kageyama scribbles something on the notebook Ukai hands him. He purses his lips in concentration, grip loose as he guides the marker across the paper.

"Don't call the police. I'm okay." 

Ukai nods in understanding,and Kageyama returns to writing. 

"My step-dad is drunk. I can't go back."

Suga squints at the chicken scratch, blood running cold at the thought of what might have happened.  
Kageyama seems to have calmed down, setting the notepad gently on the table and dropping his arms to hang at his sides. 

" Did your stepfather..."

Ukai gestures at his throat, and Kageyama nods. Suga sucks in a deep breath. This was all his fault. He shouldn't have believed Kageyama when the boy had said that he'd be safe at home. He should've brought him to Ukai the second he confessed. Forget about Kageyama's feelings, he could have died. He could have been curled up at home, pale and cold with a mysterious man standing over him. The very thought makes him feel sick.

"I'd like to get you to an emergency room. Is that okay?"

Kageyama shakes his head, croaking out a reply. 

"No. The police would be alerted."

Ukai sighs, crouching in front of the boy to look into his eyes. His expression is soft, and it almost makes Suga smiles. Ukai has come a long way from claiming to hate "high school brats". Now he looks a little bit like Takeda, fondness in his expression. 

"Kageyama. You were strangled, and you're obviously in pain. Let me take you to a hospital, okay? If the police come, I'll deal with them as best as I can." 

Kageyama fiddles with his fingers, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.   
Suga stands.   
Kageyama turns his neck to look at him as he approaches. Suga doesn't bother trying to smile. He places a hand on the back of Kageyama's straight black locks, slowly, as gentle as he would be carrying a baby. Kageyama stiffens, and Suga pulls him in.  
There's a moment of terrifying silence, and Suga wonders if he's made a grave mistake.  
Then there's a soft sob.   
Kageyama buries his head in the soft fabric of Suga's shirt, and he smiles at the warmth blooming across his chest.

"I'll go with you. I'll be with you the whole time, Kageyama. You need help."

He can feel a tiny movement crumpling his shirt as the boy nods. Ukai nods solemnly, reaching into the pocket of his worn-out jeans. 

"I'll start the car."

The emergency room is relatively empty. Suga looks around the quiet space. There's a tall boy their age with a towel wrapped carelessly around his hand, red seeping through the thin material. 

"Suga san. You could have gone home." 

Kageyama's voice sounds... better, he wants to say, but the boy is still talking like a middle aged truck driver. 

"I know. But I don't want to leave you." 

"Okay." 

He slides down in his chair a little. 

"I'm sorry. You know, for this." 

"Why would you be sorry?" 

The younger boy looks genuinely confused. 

"I shouldn't have let you go home today." 

Kageyama blinks at him. 

"This has never happened before. Even I couldn't predict it. I'm just glad that you're here for me now." 

Suga feels something warm well up in his eyes. 

"Okay," he says, hoping Kageyama misses the way his voice cracks. 

Both boys are about ready to take a nap when Ukai returns to ask Kageyama about his blood type.   
They're called shortly after he hands in the stack of forms, and Suga is impressed at the speed. Last year he and Daichi spent two hours waiting as the captain puked into a plastic bag.

The doctor is a serious looking woman. Her ponytail might have been neat a couple hours ago, judging from the sound of hair gel when she reaches up to scratch her head, but now it's tousled, loose strands framing her face. 

"So, what brings you here today?"

Her voice is cheerful, despite the stacked up coffee cups on her desk. Suga feels bad for the lady. 

Ukai explains in a hushed voice. Suga sits awkwardly on a plastic stool, smiling gently every time Kageyama's eyes dart to his. 

The visit goes like they'd been expecting. Child protective services are called, and Ukai disappears to give explanations. Suga sits with Kageyama. The boy has his eyes closed, head propped up on a pillow. 

"Kageyama-kun, Sugawara-kun."

He looks up to see a familiar face smiling at them from a gap in the green curtains. 

"Sensei!"

Takeda waves, slipping in and yanking the curtains shut.

"Good evening. I got a call from your coach. I hope I'm not intruding?"

He looks a little sheepish as he pushes his glasses up with two fingers. Suga shakes his head furiously. He wonders how Takeda is this calm. It's comforting, having someone acting like their usual self in the tense situation. Kageyama bows his head hurriedly, looking nervous. Takeda laughs, greeting him again as he settled into an empty chair.

"I only have one thing to say, Kageyama-kun. I'm glad that you're safe."

Suga couldn't agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I literally have a mini celebration every time someone leaves a comment!! Please consider writing something.  
> I'm not very familiar with rules involving the child protection services. If there are any mistakes, please let me know!  
> Also, I wasn't sure how to include Kageyama's grandfather in this, so I just left him out.


	4. It's okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama discovers Iwaizumi's number.

It's nearly ten when Suga leaves in Takeda's tiny car.

A social worker turns up to talk to him. Kageyama answers questions almost robotically. He knows he can't lie, and honestly, he can't be bothered to. Now that he's lying down, he can feel the tiredness settling in his bones. It's a strange feeling, like an ache so deep he can't reach it.  
He thinks about his mother.  
She hasn't done anything to him, so they can't lock her up, right? Bigfoot would probably be in trouble. Kageyama wouldn't feel even a twinge of remorse if he was thrown behind bars to rot in a cell. He'd read an article once. People who abused children were treated like scum in jail. Pedophiles were beaten up.

The social worker leaves, and he mutters a thanks as he shuts the curtain.  
His head throbs.  
Kageyama doesn't get to enjoy much time alone. Barely a minute after he leaves, Ukai appears, smelling like tobacco.

"You feeling better, kid? I heard they got you some painkillers."

"Yeah. Thank you, coach."

Ukai smiles. It's different from the grin he always has on his face when they win a match. It's tentative, gentle.  
He almost looks a little sad, Kageyama thinks. Ukai plops down heavily onto a stool, scooching closer to the bed. The sound of groaning metal makes them both flinch.

"How long has this been going on, Kageyama?"

Kageyama takes a deep breath. It makes his throat tingle, but he pushes down a cough to answer. 

"About five years, coach." 

Something dangerous flashes in Ukai' expression.

"Five-geez, I'm sorry. I should've gotten you out of there earlier."

Kageyama shakes his head. This is the second time tonight someone has apologized to him. It confuses him, really. He can't remember the last time he's felt this grateful. Tonight, there are a million different emotions bubbling in his chest. Anger directed at Suga or his coach is not one of them. 

"It's not your fault." 

"It's not yours either."

It's strange. Of course it wasn't his fault. When Miwa had suggested the name, five years ago on a windy night, neither of them had thought much of it. It was nothing more than a cheeky nickname thought up to make fun of his massive shoes. Perhaps Miwa still thought of it that way. Kageyama knows that the nickname is fitting in a different way.   
Bigfoot is a monster.  
And yet, what Ukai said echoed in his mind, making sprinkles of goosebumps appear on his pale arms.  
It wasn't his fault. Yet he'd never been able to tell anyone. He'd waited until he had a mental breakdown to finally confess his woes to Suga. Hundreds of phone calls and text messages exchanged with Miwa, and he'd been careful to not even drop a hint about the horrors happening behind closed curtains.

Perhaps he had been a little ashamed. 

He wasn't strong enough. He stopped fighting back after the first few months. He'd stood and taken each blow to the stomach. He'd cleaned up the vomit that would splatter onto the kitchen tiles after a harsh beating and gone to bed quietly.  
Resisting only made him feel smaller. He felt like a kitten scratching at its owner. Bigfoot didn't even blink when he tried to kick at him, he just moved out of the way to laugh. His cheeks burned with embarrassment at the thought of it.

"What's going to happen to me?"

His voice cracks, but he doesn't cry. Kageyama has had enough of crying for a while. Ukai's expression softens. 

"I'm not sure. I couldn't give them much information, so they didn't tell me much."

Kageyama nods. He looks up at the ceiling, squinting at the glare of the harsh lighting. There's nothing interesting up there, but he'd rather not meet his coach's pitying eyes. 

"I have a mom. She's not home alot. But she doesn't hurt me. "

He considers telling him about Miwa, but Miwa is all the way in Tokyo. He tries not to think about them yanking him away from Karasuno to live in the city.   
Maybe he could join Nekoma. Then he'd be able to see the team again. 

" I think - maybe she loves me."

Ukai says something, but Kageyama can't hear it. He's just thinking about Karasuno. He thinks about the sound the door to the gym makes when you slide it shut. He thinks about the wonky net.   
He thinks about Hinata, beaming at him with the brightness of a thousand suns.

Kageyama keeps his eyes on the rain dotting the concrete. The social worker from the hospital is beside him, repeating words of encouragement. 

"You have nothing to worry about. I'll speak to your parents, and you can go look through some things you'd like to bring with you." 

Kageyama swallows.

"So you're taking me away?"

"Not unless we absolutely have too. Our goal is not to ruin families, Kageyama - kun."

He nods.

"We won't let anything happen." 

The policeman he met ten minutes ago gives him a thumbs up. 

The door is cracked open a little, and he peeks in before placing a hand on the door handle. 

"Tobio? Who's this?"

His mother is home.   
Kageyama wants to scream at her. She's been absent for most of his childhood, and now here she is, roaming around at home like it's the most natural thing ever. He'd been planning to run up to his room and let Okumura-san talk to his father. He'd been prepared to be shooed out by Bigfoot,not have his mother look at him with puppy eyes that were like a photocopy of his sister.   
She looks lost, eyes fixated on the police car parked outside their house.

"Go ahead, Tobio-kun."

He nods, trying not to meet his mother's eyes as he climbs the stairs two steps at a time. It didn't matter. He amounted to nothing in her life.   
The door to his room is open. The bed is still unmade, his schoolbag abandoned on the carpet. Just like he'd left it.   
His body feels strangely heavy as he picks up his phone. The screen lights up to display frantic messages.

R u OK??? Suga san said you'd be missing school

R u sick 

R u coming tomorrow??

Bakageyamaaaaaa

He can almost hear Hinata's voice narrating the messages. Kageyama can't help but chuckle.

I'm okay. I'll be back soon.   
Don't slack off, he adds as an afterthought.

Kageyama plugs his phone in ,walking away after the familiar ding sound announcing that it's charging.  
He looks around the room. It's fairly empty, free of all the clutter a boy his age might have.   
The adults are talking in hushed voices downstairs. He ignores the noise, stuffing his uniform into a duffle bag.   
The voices continue. A familiar gruff voice yells something. There's the sound of a chair dragged out, and a quiet cry from his mother.   
Kageyama breaths in deeply through his nose. He turns to leave his room, trying to calm himself as he approaches the staircase.

"Boy! Come down!"

His heartbeat spikes in fear. There's more crying and more yelling.   
The boy descends the stairs slowly. He's not sure of what he should do. Okumura-san is frantically asking him to stay upstairs, but he can't move. He stands dumbly on the second last step, fingers linked behind his back. 

"What'd you tell them? Huh? You lying, are you?" 

Kageyama bites his bottom lip. Bigfoot is still struggling, cursing at the police officer. His mother is seated at the table, shoulders shaking, face covered by pale, veiny hands. 

"Tobio-kun, get your things, please." 

His mother whimpers in the background. Kageyama hesitates before bounding up the stairs to his room. He opens his closet. There aren't many normal clothes. He grabs an armful of workout attire, and his Karasuno jacket. Then a sweater and a flannel that Miwa bought him for his birthday.  
He lugs his school bag to his study desk, shoving in worksheets and textbooks and that blue pencil case Yamaguchi gave him.

"Tobio- kun!"

The voice is urgent. He groans in frustration, ripping his phone out of the socket.   
Something catches his eye. It's a piece of loose leaf paper, on his newly emptied bookstand.

Iwaizumi Hajime. Oikawa Tooru.   
A string of digits. 

He snatches it off the bookstand without thinking. It goes into his pocket and Kageyama can hear it crinkle, but he doesn't care.   
He doesn't bother to give his room a last look as he leaves. 

Bigfoot is being escorted to a police car.   
Okumura - san is waiting for him. His expression is grim as he cocks his head to the side,signaling for Kageyama to go. All he can do is nod and follow. His face is burning. 

"Tobio. Tobio, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you." 

The face that he sees when he turns back is one of a broken woman. His mother is a mess, neat eyeliner turned to black smidges.   
Kageyama can't bring himself to look at her. 

Okumura-san has a nice office. It's organized chaos,files stacked up nicely. He seems to be running out of desk space. 

"Pudding?" 

Kageyama nods absentmindedly, despite the fact that he feels nauseous enough to hurl. Okumura-san hums as he gets a plastic pudding cup out of his yellow mini fridge. 

"Thank you." 

Kageyama takes the spoon, brushing his hand along the shiny plastic cover. 

Suddenly, he's twelve years old and sitting at the kitchen table.

I'm front of him is a plastic pudding cup. There's a smile on his face as he opens it, sticking his spoon all the way in to get at the sickly sweet layer of caramel. 

"I need - um, I need to go back." 

The social worker gives him a quizzical look. 

"She bought me pudding. She bought me pudding, once a month. It was always in the fridge, when I went downstairs for breakfast." 

He's panicking now, sweat dripping down the side of his face. 

"It was for me. She knows I like pudding. You have to - you have to take me back to her." 

There are hot tears welling up in his eyes, and he's breathing too fast. His voice cracks. 

"You have to - she loves me. She loves me. You gotta bring her here. So she can-" 

He pauses, tears choking him. Okumura-san gets up and approaches him quickly. 

"So she can take me home." 

He sobs. For the third time in two days.   
Kageyama is pulled into a tight hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving spaces between dialogues and I paragraphs but every time I preview it the words just end up all smooshed together :(  
> What should I do??  
> Comment If you liked it please!!!! Comments fuel my writing power and my motivation so I can keep churning out chapters hehe


	5. Hanamaki Takahiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help comes from an unexpected source.

Kageyama is trying to stay positive, but it's hard when he's in a hospital bed next to an obnoxious lady chewing apples like a donkey. The thin curtain doesn't do anything to block the sound, so he's resorted to pulling the covers over his head to create a little cave.

He'd tried to leave the Okumura-san 's office after his big freak out, only to stumble and nearly pass out at the door. The doctors said it was a psychogenic fever, caused by stress. That and the dehydration had taken its toll.

Lovely.

Kageyama vaguely registers the sound of footsteps and keychains clanging loudly. He pulls the covers down slowly, the light making his eyes ache.

"Sorry, did we wake you? You seemed pretty comfy in your, um, nest."

Kageyama springs up, regretting it instantly as a wave of dizziness crashes over him. 

"Woah, woah. Careful."

Daichi looks distressed as he reaches out to help Kageyama. Suga is next to him, laughing softly.

"Daichi-san, Suga San."

"Hey! You feeling any better?"

He nods, clutching the scratchy blanket to his chest. Daichi settles into the folding chair beside his bed.

"We hope you're up for visitors, because everyone's here to see you."

"Everyone?"

Suga nods somewhat apologetically, scratching his head with a sheepish smile.  
It's then that the door opens, and a head of orange hair peeks in from a gap in the door. 

"Kageyama! You're not dead!"

Hinata giggles in glee, waving madly. Kageyama waves back, a little stunned.

"Shouyou! That's not fair!" 

Nishinoya appears, flashing white teeth and a thumbs up. 

"This is a hospital, idiots! I said to wait outside!"

Kageyama wonders how Daichi managed to whisper and shout at the same time. He watches Hinata retreat, looking like a kicked puppy. 

"I don't mind, captain."

Daichi hums lowly, turning to look at the door. 

"You can come in in pairs, I guess."

There are whoops of glee as Hinata bursts in, followed by an energetic Nishinoya. 

"Not you two together! Ennoshita, get rid of Noya. Get in here, Asahi."

Nishinoya squawks in protest as Ennoshita appears to drag him away by the collar of his shirt. Hinata sits on his bed like it's the most natural thing in the world,ignoring the extra chair in the corner. 

"Kageyama! I missed you, stupid!" 

His bottom lip trembles slightly despite the cheerful tone. Kageyama can't help but smile. He hadn't realized how much he liked Hinata's voice. Maybe Yamaguchi was right－ someone as dark as him needed a ray of sunshine to keep his life from spiraling into an abyss of nothingness. It was why he didn't mind sticking around Tsukishima, he had said. Kageyama wonders what it would be like to be the happy one for once. 

"Me too."

Suga gasps like a proud mother watching her anti-social son making a new friend.  
Kageyama's cheeks burn red, and he hopes that they'll assume it's from the fever.

The team leaves after showering him with gifts of candy and sports magazines. He flips through them idly, already missing the liveliness. Apple lady has finally stopped eating, and luckily, she's a quiet sleeper.

Nobody has told him when he's allowed to leave. Okumura-san had mentioned something about the child centre being full. Too many children for the measly amount of rooms and staff members. Kageyama understands. Honestly, the boredom was the worst part of being in the hospital. The nurses were nice as they gave him milk at every tasteless meal.   
He finishes the magazines quickly, even if he had been trying to take his time. He stops on a page featuring Ushijima, expression stony as he stares straight into the camera. The contents of his interview are incredibly dry, and Kageyama wonders how the guy even has fans.

He pushes aside his neatly folded clothes to place the magazines on his bedside table, and his hand brushes against a slip of paper sticking out of his pants.  
The phone number.  
Kageyama stares at it for a solid minute before swiping his phone off the table.  
The phone rings for barely a minute, but he's ready to hang up. This was a bad idea. Iwaizumi was obviously busy with volleyball and studying.   
He picks up. 

"Hello? Who is this?"

Kageyama gulps. Iwaizumi's voice sounds different over the phone.

"It's, um, Kageyama."

There's a pause, and for a moment Kageyama wonders if Iwaizumi has forgotten about him.

"Kageyama? What's up?"

Relief washes over him,even if he'd never really believed that Iwaizumi would have forgotten who he was. Kageyama clears his throat,feeling stupidly proud of himself for not freezing up and leaving Iwaizumi hanging.

"Um, I'm sorry to disturb you, Iwaizumi -san. I found the note you gave me." 

"The note?"

"You told me to call you. If I was ever in trouble."

There's sweat dripping from his palms, and Kageyama grips his phone tighter. He can feel the bright rubber phone case Hinata insisted on buying for him. 

"Are you in trouble? Where are you?"

"I'm in the hospital."

It's only after he says it that he realises how concerning that would sound without context. 

"What? Are you injured?"

"I'm okay. I just wanted to talk to someone."

He explains things as briefly as possible. The subject wasn't something exactly the most casual thing, and he wasn't exactly comfortable talking about it. Kageyama curls his fingers into his palm and squeezes, his nails digging into skin painfully.   
Iwaizumi waits for him to finish before speaking. 

"I'd like you to meet someone."

The next day, Kageyama is woken from his second nap of the afternoon by the sound of harsh whispering. His vision is blurry, but a couple of blinks reveal Oikawa Tooru, eyes wide and standing with a hand on his hip.

"Tobio-chan!"

Kageyama sits up slowly, body still heavy with sleep. Iwaizumi waves at him. There are two other third years he vaguely recalls seeing during the practice match with Seijoh.

"You should have seen Iwa-chan! He was so worried."

Iwaizumi blushes, smacking Oikawa on the arm, but the blow is weak and half-hearted. Oikawa yelps anyway.

"We all were. Especially me."

A boy with pink hair approaches, stopping at the foot of his bed.

"Sorry, um--"

"Hanamaki. You can call me Makki."

Kageyama tests out the cutesy nickname, but it feels awkward on his tongue.

"You know, this is probably all a little sudden. Let's have some cake first."

Kageyama chewed on a mouthful of cake with relish. It was almost sickeningly sweet, but it was welcome after three days of bland hospital food.   
He tried to steal a glance at his visitors. They were all enjoying their own cake, keeping to themselves.   
It was painfully awkward. 

"Uh, Makki san－" 

"It's just Makki. Call me Takahiro if you're uncomfortable with the nickname.

He says it with a deadpan expression, jaw still working to chew. Kageyama frowns.

"Takahiro-san. What did you mean by..."

He waits. Hanamaki hums lowly, tossing a crumpled napkin into the trash bin by the bed.

"Can I talk to you alone, just for a bit?"

He blinks, taken aback. 

"Oi, Makki. Tobio-chan isn't exactly the friendliest, and you've just met. What if he's uncomfortable?"

Oikawa glances at him, as if looking for confirmation.  
Kageyama thinks about it for a second. 

"Thank you, Oikawa-san. I'll be okay."

Oikawa pouts, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. He's dragged away by Iwaizumi and eyebrows. Matsukawa, he corrects himself. He gives Hanamaki a thumbs up before disappearing down the corridor, the pink haired boy still waving lightly at the door.   
Kageyama gulps as the he settles into a creaky folding stool, hunching forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"Can i tell you something about myself? No questions, until I finish. Then we'll talk about you."

Kageyama nods. His tone is soft, different from the comforting sweetness of Suga's words or Hinata's explosive energy. He was careful, a tad bit monotone.

"I don't live with my real parents. They... Weren't exactly good people. Especially my mom."

Kageyama can't help but widen his eyes. Something tugs at his chest and he lets out a little gasp. This was not what he was expecting. 

"When I was seven, my parents decided to take a little holiday. They left me in the house for three weeks before my teachers got suspicious. Then I ended up in a foster family."

Three weeks. When he was seven, he was still crying to Miwa after spilling juice down his trousers. Hanamaki was alone, left to fend for himself. Kageyama wasn't even allowed to go near the stove at that age. 

"I went around a couple homes, then I met this couple. They didn't rush me. They waited, patiently, and eventually I warmed up to them. Now I have a different last name."

"Does that mean -"

Kageyama stops himself, remembering the no questions rule, but Hanamaki doesn't seem to mind. He grins, and his face lights up like a Christmas tree. 

"Yup. Those three all know about it. Iwa called me last night,so I told my parents. Sorry I couldn't ask you before."

Kageyama shakes his head, a little stunned. 

"They want to foster you, for as long as you need. You can keep going to Karasuno, then." 

He opens his mouth, then closes it. As long as he needed. He had been told that his mother wanted him back. She was undergoing counseling, but she was going to bring him home. How would that work out? He troubles a family that doesn't even know him for a couple of months, then packs his bags to fall back into his mother's arms? It was terribly rude. He didn't deserve any of this 

"Kageyama. A foster parent has one job. Keep their kids safe and happy,whether for a year or a day. You don't have anything to worry about." 

He wonders if Hanamaki can read minds, or he just blurted everything out. 

"But－ can you choose? The foster child?" 

Hanamaki chuckles. 

"Of course. You're an old family friend, after all. Possibly even a distant cousin." 

He winks, and Kageyama's lips part to reveal the widest grin he's managed in a while. 

"This is all quite sudden, isn't it? Sorry I just told Hanamaki like that." 

Iwaizumi chuckles,burying his face in his hands before Kageyama can reject the apology. 

"It is a little sudden. Honestly, I haven't had time to give it much thought. All I know is that I have somewhere to go now, thanks to you, Iwaizumi-san." 

His senpai nods, large hands still glued to his face. 

"You know, I've never seen Makki so determined. He wants the best for you. I couldn't even imagine what you two went through." 

He sucks in a deep breath, leaning back on one of the molded plastic seats in the lobby.   
Kageyama, yet again, is at a lost for words. He just sips on his milk,carton box beaded with cool droplets.

"I'm sure it'll get better. Karasuno－ they're great, aren't they? They'll support you. You should let them help you." 

He nods, even if he'd never thought about telling the rest of the team. Ukai had assured him that he wouldn't tell unless Kageyama wanted to. Did they deserve to know? Would they find out?   
A handful of teachers had come to visit him. The volleyball Keychain clutched in his fist was from Ms. Ono, the sports handkerchief in his pocket from Takeda. He had plenty of support already. 

"I'm sure they'd want to help you." 

All he can do is nod. 

There's the sound of a car running outside. A couple waves at him from the other side of the gigantic automatic doors in the hospital lobby.   
He stands up, and takes a step forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are appreciated! I try to reply to every single one of your precious comments :)  
> They make me so happy!
> 
> Sorry if this chapter feels a little rushed. School just started and I've been pretty busy.


	6. Kageyama Tobio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama adjusts to his new life.

Hanamaki Utako, Kageyama's mom for the past couple hours, is lining plates of steaming curry along the table. She mutters something about not having enough placemats, eyebrow furrowed. 

"Oh! Come help me, Takahiro."

Kageyama moves towards the dining table awkwardly, but Utako-san waves him away, beaming warmly. 

"You've just got out of the hospital, sweetie. Go sit with Tooru and Hajime, okay?"

He nods.

"Oi, Mattsun ! Come help me."

Matsukawa approaches, flashing a secret middle finger at Hanamaki's smug look. 

Oikawa waves him over from his spot on the couch. There are board games spread across the coffee table, abandoned at some point of their lively banter.  
Kageyama is still a little dazed at the whole thing; new house, new people.  
Hanamaki Hayato is a rather small man, round glasses too far down his nose. He has a wicked sense of humor and a slight limp when he walks. Hanamaki had said something about a motorcycle accident.  
Utako-san is a tad bit serious, but she has a voice like honey. She's taller than her husband, hair cut short to frame her face in a flattering way. Hanamaki says that it was her who introduced him to volleyball. They'd spent the earlier part of the evening looking through old volleyball magazines. Utako-san had an intimidating aura seeping out of the yellowed pages. The way she stared at the camera, mouth knitted into a straight line, reminded him of Ushiwaka.  
She wasn't quite as scary in real life. Kageyama catches a glimpse of her back in the kitchen, a flowery apron tied tightly around her trim waist. She moves slowly, round eyes making her look a little clueless.

Kageyama sinks into the fluffy couch, feeling useless as he watches Iwaizumi gather loose scrabble pieces. Four days of bed rest in a stiff hospital bed had left him with a crick in his neck, and surprisingly tired despite how much he's been sleeping.

"Say, Tobio-chan, do your friends at Karasuno know that you're living in the same house as... the enemy?"

"Shittykawa!" 

"You know, you can drop by practice at Seijoh anytime. Wanna be a spy? I bet you－" 

Oikawa pauses to dodge an enraged slap, pouting in displeasure. 

"Mean, Iwa-chan! Thank God I have the reflexes of a true athlete!" 

Kageyama can't help the way the corners of his mouth tilt up watching them bicker. But there's something more pressing that Oikawa has reminded him of.  
He hasn't told Karasuno.  
Suga texted him every night, but he'd never brought up the matter. Perhaps he was worried that Kageyama would feel pressured. And he would, because he knew that his team didn't appreciate secrets. Ukai had told him when he came to visit. This wasn't just about him getting a new pair of shoes.  
Kageyama hasn't even had time to soak in the news. He's met Hanamaki's parents, been told to make himself at home. He's been shown to a simple room on the second floor. He's gone over the procedures with his social worker a million times. But somehow, he just needed to close his eyes and suddenly he was just another high school boy visiting a friend.

"Dinner time, you sloths." 

Hanamaki rings a glass of barley tea with his spoon, urging them to hurry up.

"I don't know if you like your curry spicy, but the doctor said to lay off things that would agitate your throat. Is it better, by the way?"

"It barely hurts anymore, Utako-san."

She smiles in response, turning her attention back to her own curry.

The dinner table is rippling with chatter from his first mouthful of rice. It's so different from what he's gotten used to－ meals eaten in silence, staring at the wall. Half of the time he's standing up, leaning on the kitchen counter with his shoulders hunched. Kageyama runs a finger over his orange placemat, chest fluttering strangely.

Kageyama falls asleep faster than ever that night.  
It's not long, though, before the dreams come to pry him from the comfort of his futon. 

He's back in his house. It's empty, like always, so he takes a walk around the living room and down the hallway. His footsteps are heavy, sending his body trembling with the vibrations through the wood. 

"Tobio?" 

Kageyama's heart drops at the voice－ a tad bit husky and a pitch higher than his own. Miwa.

He places a hand on the doorknob and sends the bathroom door swinging open with barely any effort. 

Miwa is in the bathtub wearing nothing but her underwear, ugly blue marks patterned across her skin. Kageyama scans his sister's body in alarm, finding bruise after bruise. The darkest ones are on her neck. The ghosts of ten fat fingers, blurred together.  
Bigfoot laughs in the background. It's an ugly sound, loud and wheezy. 

When Kageyama jerks awake, there's sweat running down his face and collecting on his upper lip. It takes a second for him to register the fact that his whole body is shaking violently.  
Kageyama is just glad that he didn't scream. Hanamaki is still asleep on the other side of the room, the lump under the covers unmoving.  
There's only one thing on his mind. Get out of here, back to his house, and into the bathroom. He needed to check,needed to make sure Miwa wasn't dying with her cheek resting on the cold white bathtub.

The Hanamaki household is relatively new, so he doesn't worry too much about creaky floorboards. The carpet feels strange under his feet.  
It's a big room, and the door isn't on his side. Kageyama holds his breath as he passes Hanamaki's bed, squinting to make out any rogue objects. It goes smoothly, and the click of the doorknob isn't enough to wake the older boy.  
This was okay. He just needed to get back home, make sure Miwa was still safe in Tokyo, and sneak back into his bed before anyone noticed.

He doesn't get far.

Kageyama is halfway across the living room when the lights flicker on. He freezes, scrunching his eyes up at the sudden brightness.

"Tobio?"

Hanamaki is standing by the staircase, sleepy eyes looking straight at him. His pajama pants are too short, ending mid-calf instead of falling to his ankles.

"Uh, Takahiro-san-"

"Just Takahiro, please."

Kageyama gulps. 

"Takahiro. I was getting a drink."

Hanamaki nods, shuffling over on the fluffy carpet. Kageyama stiffens at the hand against his back, gently guiding him to the couch. His legs feel heavy, like he's wading through a pool of seaweed.

"So. Were you running away?"

Hanamaki asks the question as soon as Kageyama settles onto the couch. 

"I'm sorry."

Kageyama isn't sure what to say, but lying doesn't feel like one of the options. Hanamaki shakes his head, relaxing into Utako-san's collection of decorative pillows.

"Think you can tell me why?" 

Kageyama nods tentatively. Hanamaki has been nothing but understanding since the moment he arrived,and he doesn't deserve having things kept from him.

"I－ had a nightmare. About my sister. She was back at home, and I needed to make sure she was,"

He stops, mind blurring at the image of Miwa. Something urges him to go on, so he does, taking a deep breath to chase away the tears threatening to leak out of his eyes. 

"I needed to make sure she was okay. I was planning on sneaking back here before anyone found out, really."

Hanamaki doesn't say anything. He just nods, and Kageyama finds himself wishing to be yelled at.  
It's strange, really. All he ever wanted was to be out of that house of nightmares, and now he was longing to be punished. 

"I'm sure your sister is fine, Tobio. She's in Tokyo, isn't she?"

Kageyama nods, realizing how stupid he was for thinking they'd never find out about Miwa's existence. Of course his social worker would have mentioned something like that.

"Go back to sleep, okay? You've got school tomorrow."

He nods, lifting his body of the couch and rubbing his hands nervously on his sweatpants.

"Thank you, Takahiro."

Hanamaki flashes a toothy grin and a thumbs up. It's so different from his usual deadpan expression that Kageyama can't help smiling back. 

"Yama!"

Hinata abandons his bicycle, the old thing clattering against the asphalt. 

"You're going to damage your bicycle, stupid."

The smaller boy ignores him, rummaging through his backpack furiously. Kageyama watches as he pulls out a volleyball, well worn and faded from hours under the scorching sun. He can almost feel his hands trembling in anticipation, longing to feel the ball fit snugly in his fingers.

"We've got some time. Or are you too tired too play?"

Hinata grins from ear to ear, blinking at Kageyama. 

"I'll race you."

By the time the others start arriving, both boys are damp with sweat despite the chilly morning. Kageyama shifts his weight from leg to leg as he waits for Hinata to fetch the ball from an unkempt bush. 

"Kageyama! Already at it, huh?" 

" Good morning! Sorry for worrying everyone." 

Tanaka guffaws, looking pleased. 

Morning practice is the most fun Kageyama has had in a while. Daichi expresses concern at him jumping right back into strenuous exercise, but Ukai shooes the captain away and winks at Kageyama. 

Hinata is way too excited, but Kageyama wouldn't have it any other way. 

"Tobio!" 

Kageyama follows the source of the voice to the giant gym doors, and sees Mrs. Hanamaki waving sheepishly. Afternoon practice is nearly over, and the other members are scattered around the sidelines in varying levels of exhaustion. Nobody seems to notice. 

"Utako - san?" 

He glances at Takeda, who gives him a thumbs up. 

Mrs. Hanamaki ushers him out the gym, silently gesturing at a young lady with her head tilted upwards to look at the main building. Kageyama would recognize her anywhere. 

"Miwa!"

What was meant as an excited call turned into a yell. His voice cracked, and Miwa turned to look at him, the hands that were behind her back falling to her sides.

Kageyama runs, faster than he ever has. He runs like Hinata is racing him to the club room. He runs, because his sister is standing so, so close. 

Miwa meets him halfway, slender arms squeezing him tight. Kageyama's face falls into that one spot on her shoulder he's snuggled countless time. 

"I missed you so much. I'm so sorry, Tobio." 

She pulls away to cup his face in her hands. 

"I'm sorry I never noticed anything. I'm sorry I didn't worry more. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." 

Kageyama has rejected many apologies in the past few days. Suga had blamed himself for letting him go home that night. Iwaizumi had bowed his head for what Kageyama has been through. 

He accepts Miwa's apology, because she's shaking and crying and looks terribly angry at herself. 

"I'm okay now. I'm okay, Miwa." 

She just cries, every tear she hastily wipes away closely followed by another one. When she finally parts her lips again, Kageyama braces himself for another apology that doesn't come. 

"Your friends, Tobio." 

Kageyama turns, puzzled, to find the entire team huddled together outside the gym. Nobody laughs or waves at him. Ukai has his hands stuffed in his pockets, smiling widely. 

"Miwa? I have some explaining to do." 

He takes a step towards Karasuno, and then another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!  
> Sorry this took so long! School started and I've been super busy.  
> Constructive criticism is welcome! But nothing too mean please, I'm only 14 and I have a glass heart :)  
> UPDATE : This may have been posted a while ago, but I still look forward to comments and check my inbox multiple times a week. Feel free to leave a message! I reply to everything 💕

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I thrive on comments, so please consider leaving even a short one! It'll make me so happy!


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